The New and the Old

The other day a person on our parish staff was telling me about their cat’s adjustment problems to a new home. The change was causing him to be anxious and to act in less than friendly ways. Baxter has been a blessing to me because he never fell into this problem. He has gone through five moves in the course of our life together, and each one he managed with aplomb. Of course, he would case the joint at first, figuring out where he wanted to sleep, explore, eat his meals, and have his bathroom. I usually accommodated his wishes, because it made a change in our living situation so much easier to handle.

Soon after each move, Baxter would settle into his routine. After a month, no one would ever know he didn’t live all of his life where he was. He found a way to fit his needs and desires into the new situation. Of course, I have been the constant in Baxter’s life through all these changes. No matter where we might be and with whom we might be living, we were together. The schedule might have to adjust a bit. The surroundings may be more noisy, less private, bigger or smaller in living space. Still, we were in it together, and that gave both of us confidence to figure out how to make it work. Faithful and true relationships anchor our lives.

We need to take time to think about how we best mark transitions as we face a new year. Everything will not be exactly the same in 2017. At this point, we may not know what the changes will be, but we can be sure there will be some. They may be large and dramatic like a new baby, a new job, a new marriage or the loss of a loved one. They may be just minor adjustments like a new house, a new friend, a different schedule for school or a new favorite restaurant or TV show. Whatever changes in the year ahead though, we don’t have to become anxious and upset about it.

Think about the relationships that sustain us. We carry them with us through the changes ahead, and they will help us deal with them. They provide perspective on what may at first seem overwhelming. They provide comfort when the familiar gives way to the strange and uncertain. They steady us when the ship of life may begin to rock, and they assure us that we have what it takes to get to the shore again.

God is the source of all these life-sustaining relationships we rely upon. He is the cement binding faithful and true friendships and family ties. He is ever present through the changes life brings, assuring us of love, care and affection through those who sustain us through life’s transitions. God is the quiet, hidden presence we take with us wherever we might be. His mystery is malleable to fit into the changing circumstances in which we may find ourselves in the coming year.

Don’t be afraid. We are never alone or totally lost. God knows us as His children, and He will never abandon us no matter what may come our way. He moves with us and lives with us in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. He makes the new familiar, and the familiar fresh when He is allowed to share our lives.

So Happy New Year, whatever it holds for us. We can make it because the God of Jesus is with us, holding us in the palm of His hand, close to His heart, wherever another year of living takes us.

Short Term Memory Loss

Baxter seems to have a lot of patience. When he wants a drink from the spigot in the shower, he jumps onto the side of the tub and sits there until I come along. Sometimes he jumps all the way into the tub, and sits there. Of course, if I don’t come along too quickly, he will start to call me. I suppose that he is saying: “I want a drink.” “Pay attention!” “Where are you?” If I don’t get to turn on the faucet for some reason, he will eventually stop yelling and jump out of the tub to settle for a few licks from his water bowl. When this happens, he doesn’t seem to hold a grudge or set out to ambush me at the next opportunity. He just forgets about it and moves onto his bed for his next nap. Baxter isn’t one to hold a grudge when he doesn’t get his way. There are benefits to having a cat’s short memory.

What about us? How do we handle past hurts, insults or snubs? Do we hold onto them until whatever gave rise to the affront is settled? Do we hold onto the infraction and bring it back whenever the opportunity arises for us to do so? Once speared by another, we keep them on the hook for as long as possible, rubbing their noses in what they did, and never allowing the dust to settle on the disrespect we were rendered. We like to be hurt and offended. We refuse to forget and move on. We mark off our lives and their relationships by the wounds we bear and refuse to let heal.

Lucky for us, God has a different approach. If He would hold a grudge and never forget, never move beyond the betrayal, never allow the scars to form and be forgotten, Christmas would never have happened. Rather than turn His back on humanity’s sin and infidelity, God comes closer to us, so close as to become one with us in our sinful, frail and distorted condition.

Jesus is the sign of God’s short memory and persistent desire to connect with us. Like an unwanted kitten we might push outside to fend for itself and we find at the door the next time we open it, God won’t go away despite our insults and rejection. He settled for a manger to be born, if that were what it took to come close. He accepted lowly shepherds and unknown strangers for visitors, if they were the only ones who noticed His incarnation. Our humble God will never give up on His stubborn, arrogant and disrespectful children. He just keeps forgetting the wrongs we inflict on Him through each other and embraces us again.

This Christmas, what do we need to forget, so that we can celebrate the birth of divine love in our midst? Baxter always comes back for another drink from the spigot, no matter how often it might be dry. He knows that eventually refreshing, lifegiving water will flow for him, if he can forget about the times it didn’t. The same holds for us. A shortened memory of life’s hurts will allow us to drink deeply of life’s blessings, and to realize God’s unrelenting love for us.

That’s the true meaning of Christmas and the gift that is offered to each of us. Will we accept it?

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Studies have shown that our disposition is affected by the seasons of the year. Some people respond to the turn to winter with despondency that can lead to out-right depression. With the shortened days and longer nights, a person’s body can begin to withdraw.

He or she sleeps more, eats more carbohydrates, feels lethargic and aimless. One psychically hibernates, avoiding social situations and losing interest in activities which normally he or she enjoys. The lack of light in winter has been shown to affect some people with these symptoms, and medical personnel sometimes recommend “light therapy” —exposure to an artificial light that simulates the sun— to help combat the affects of the season.

Baxter doesn’t seem to have this problem. He always sleeps a lot. His appetite is always on the hunt for delicious tidbits. His habits are steady season to season. If he is depressed, he is depressed all the time because his behavior doesn’t change much in the course of a day, month or year. He follows a cat’s life style—set on getting what he wants to make himself content and comfortable and not worried about anything or anyone else.

Christmas isn’t made for cats. It is a human celebration. Christ counters the cold and dark of winter with the warmth and light of God’s love made real in the human condition. This is how we are called to celebrate the season, by making God’s love tangible to others. Our gift giving, the special foods we share at this time of the year, the holiday parties, the Church’s liturgies are all ways that we can see, taste, hear and feel the warmth of God’s love.

Our charitable efforts also fit in here. Through them, God touches us and those in need with a sense of His generosity and care. When we are instruments of divine mercy and compassion, we get as much, or even more , than we give . We act like God. We don’t try to measure others by what they deserve, because no one can earn genuine love, especially divine love. We all just try to be grateful, and from that gratitude, we share in concrete ways what we have all been given. That is the seasonal affective order which offers soul therapy through every time of life.

Winter in these parts can be harsh and bitter, but a wintry attitude can do more damage. It will starve our souls, make us harsh towards each other, and leave us alone with a bitter taste to life.

If we need psychological help for depression, get it, so that God’s grace can build on a healthy nature. If we need spiritual healing to be open to Divine Love Incarnate, seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation and spiritual direction. Don’t act like Baxter.

God made you for better things.

Who We are Matters Most

I made a mistake with Baxter. I began to give him a little something from my table. Now I have created a monster. If anything I am eating appeals to him, Baxter is there throughout my meal pestering me for some. He will paw my arm, sit and stare, meow, and make a general nuance of himself, hoping I will give in and drop a little morsel his way. Now Baxter doesn’t need this food. He has plenty of kibble and snacks to keep him nourished. But the smell of my lunch or dinner seems so much better to him. He can’t resist satisfying his desire for what I have.

This happens to us as well, doesn’t it? We see another person’s car, house, clothes, phone or whatever, and we want what they have. We envy their possessions, and we set out to get the same or something better. Why do we do this? Why can’t we simply admire another’s possessions, compliment them for their quality, and be satisfied with what we have? What moves us from admiration to envy, compliments to criticisms, satisfaction to discontent with our things? We overvalue stuff.

The stuff we own can take on an importance that is far beyond the monetary value it holds. We see it making a statement about us. Stuff can  become a status symbol of who we are, how successful we have become, and how important we are to the community around us. It tells others to look at me and see what I have become. It tells ourselves that we are better than some people and we have to compete with others to get ahead of them. It’s an external measure of how we compare to other people on the socioeconomic ladder. It tells us where we fit with others and where we have to go to make progress.

Jesus cuts through all of our status symbols. He never measures a person by what they have or don’t have, but He looks elsewhere for what gives value to a life. He admires and compliments people for their character and its qualities--faith in the centurion who believes in His power to heal, generosity in the widow who gives her last penny, persistence in the Syro-Phoenician woman with a sick daughter, humility in the sinful woman who washes His feet. There are many others. Jesus admires people for who they show they are, not for what they have and flaunt before others. He chides the Pharisees for their concern over the size of their phylacteries and fringes, and for seeking places of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues. It’s not about stuff. It‘s about what we are made of.

The baby in the manger was the Word made flesh. Nothing on this earth could have greater value, yet many people in His day had more possessions, higher social standing and greater esteem from others. Yet, He is the Savior. Stuff won’t save us; only a person can, the person of Jesus, born poor and homeless, but rich in the divine virtues He would share with His followers.

Be prosperous in what matters this Christmas season. It will make us all rich and successful, no matter our bank accounts, for we are God’s children too.

Baxter, you can’t have people food. You are a cat!

We Have What We Need

A few Christmases ago I thought I bought Baxter the perfect present. I could tell that his age was beginning to show on him, because in the winter, he started to lie next to the heating vents for warmth. So I saw in a pet catalogue what I thought was the perfect Christmas gift for Baxter—a heated bed. It wasn’t cheap, but I thought Baxter deserved it for his many years of putting up with me. So I ordered it on line, and when it arrived, I thought it was just right for him. It was a well padded mattress with a plush covering, and when I plugged it in, it became a gently heated bed fit for a king. I was so excited to set it up in one of Baxter’s favorite spots. I just knew he was going to love it. Soft, warm and cozy, this gift would create the perfect spot for an older cat seeking warmth on a cold winter day. I was wrong.

Baxter has never used the luxury bed. The closest he came were a few, curious sniffs. I tried placing him on the mattress several times, but after a few seconds of boisterous protest, he would hop away. I tried plugging it in and leaving it on while I am gone during the day, thinking that he would make a friend of the soft spot. No deal. The heated pet bed remains pristine to this day--untouched by feline paws, clean of all shedding, in newly packaged, mint condition. Baxter prefers his old, cruddy, stained canvas mattress by the window and the heating vent when he needs a dose of warmth.

We sometimes make the same mistake with ourselves and each other as I made with Baxter. We think we know what we or others need to make life better. Sometimes it is a superfluous thing like a heated pet bed. Sometimes it’s dangerous items like drugs or crime. Sometimes it’s sinful activities like adultery or ruining another’s reputation. Whatever its particular characteristics, we look for a simple way to make ourselves or another happy, and most often it fails. Happiness isn’t that simple.

Happiness is a network of relationships we hold in life. These involve God, ourselves, others and the world at large. God sets the context for all the other connections we need. He is the glue binding together the various aspects of our lives into a meaningful whole. As Catholics, we believe that God desires to permeate all the other relationships we need and cherish, and when He does, these become sacraments, signs and instruments of God’s grace embracing our lives and drawing them forward towards a fuller life with God. Jesus as the Word Incarnate is the first sacrament of this union between God and humanity, and in His Spirit, we, the baptized, continue to incarnate God’s grace by the way we connect with each other. Respect, responsibility, and reconciliation make space for grace to grow between us. Without these, we smother each other in comforts that may please us for a while but never finally satisfy our longing for belonging, peacefulness and love.

Baxter didn’t need a heated pet bed, and he knew it. He had a safe place to live, food, and companionship. This is a complete world for a cat. Our world needs more--the love of God shown in our love for each other characterizing the way we live together. That’s a Christmas gift everyone can appreciate and use when they receive it. Forget the luxury items this Christmas. Give the basics and everyone will be happy.

-Monsignor Statnick

A Sense of Things

Baxter has a sense when things are not right. The other day I was lying on the couch not feeling well. He would usually jump up on my belly and fall asleep for a while until he decided that sleeping on the floor next to me was better. However, this time he just touched his paw to my side and went under the coffee table to rest while I slept on the couch. He seemed to know that I was under the weather, and he respected my need for some space and undisturbed quiet. Baxter stood by wondering what was wrong withthe usual picture without adding to its disquiet.

Do we have a sense of each other in our day to day dealings? Often, we go about our usual business without noticing the people who are involved. We have a job to do and we do it. We are concerned about the results, and we want to get things accomplished. In the wake of all this concentrated effort at producing a product, we can forget why we are doing the job and who’s to benefit. We work for people. Whether we are constructing a building, cooking a meal, caring for the sick, keeping financial accounts, fixing a car, calling a parish bingo or engaging any of a thousand other jobs done today, people are meant to benefit from our work, and the product of our effort should somehow make other’s lives better. As Christian believers, we don’t work just for a pay check. Of course, we need a livelihood, but our jobs involve more. We are helping to build the Kingdom of God in our world.

Work brings people together both with co-workers and clients. It provides us with common goals that are meant to unite us around a common task. It calls for more than individual achievements, though these are often necessary. It calls for a shared effort that uses the talents of everyone involved to do something that benefits others. Our work is meant to carry on God’s work in the world. God’s job is to call us to Himself by linking us to each other. When we connect together in some effort, we gain a sense that something bigger and better than ourselves is at work here. This is a hint of the holy among us. God works between us, among us, and through us as we share a common task to extend the goodness of creation. When we work this way, it helps to avoid the drudgery, the ongoing conflicts, the back-biting and extreme complaining that can poison a workplace. We are in this together—God, me, us—for others’ good. There is no better formula for meaningful work that enhances our lives through its service.

Baxter’s job is to be a cat. He does it well because he has a sense of the other person in his cat world and respects him. We work best when we respect and welcome those we work with and those we work for, because God is at work with all of us.

-Monsignor Statnick

The Look

Cats have mysterious stares. Sometimes, Baxter comes up close and just looks me in the eye with a very disconcerting gaze. If I blink or turn away, it doesn’t distract him. He remains fixed with his focus. I wonder what he is looking for but the answer isn’t obvious. He doesn’t give any clues about his disposition or his intentions. He just stares until he has had enough. Then he jumps off my lap and goes about his routine cat business.

Staring at another person is usually regarded as impolite. It intrudes upon one’s personal space and intimidates another. It is usually regarded as threatening to one’s privacy and respect. As children, we are taught not to stare for these very reasons. Of course, kids can make a game of staring. Who will flinch first? But generally, we don’t tolerate another’s stare for very long. We usually break it with a question. Can I help you? Do I know you? What’s your problem? Stares are not the stuff of polite society.

How do we feel about God’s look at us? I remember the big eye in the triangle that adorned the sanctuary ceiling of my boyhood church. I never liked that look. It was too much like a stare. It gave the sense that it knew everything about me, and it was waiting to catch me out of line. Its expressionless viewpoint had me looking for the worst in me and wondering how I could keep it a secret. Where could I hide from the all-knowing judgment of God? Maybe that’s why I seldom looked at the picture and took the back pew in the corner whenever I was praying alone in the church. Stares are intimidating, and coming from the Almighty, they are downright scary.

The God of Jesus looks at us differently. Sure, He sees our sin and failings, our littleness and frailty, but like a loving parent, these traits become terms of endearment to Him. His forgiveness trumps our sin and failings, and the strength of His love protects us in our weakness. He doesn’t look for the worst, but the best in us.

After all, we are His children, and so we are made in His image and likeness. God sees His love in us and smiles at the unique twist we each have given that love. He wants to encourage us to live by that love, to use it in our dealings with each other, and to teach it to our children. That’s the divine gaze, the look of the Good Shepherd, happy to see His sheep thriving under His watchful care.

So, Baxter, stare all you want. I can’t be scared by you. A cooler cat watches over both of us, and His look is a blessing for all on whom it falls.

-Monsignor Statnick

Standard Time

We fell back one hour last weekend. Standard time began for us. All the clocks were reset to reflect this move to a later start to the daylight with an earlier start to the sunset. This is the dark period of the year when eventually there will be virtually no evening or dawn. There is simply day and night. The daylight shrinks from now until after the winter solstice. Many of us go to work in the dark and return from work in the dark during this season. People with seasonal affective disorder get depressed. Most people just hunker down and hope for a mild winter, waiting for hints that the ratio of light to darkness is beginning to switch, and the light is winning out.

Baxter seems unaffected by this change. He can’t tell time, so changing the clocks means nothing to him. He sleeps so much that day or night isn’t really that important to him. Chunks of the day and chunks of the night are always unconscious periods for him, so the amount of total light most often goes unnoticed. In fact, since he sees better in the dark, Baxter probably enjoys the longer nights. He can inspect more during his nighttime prows when I am fast asleep.

As long as his feeder goes off on schedule, Baxter is satisfied with whatever the clocks register as the time. That is just a number to him without any meaning.

What do we do with our time? Unlike Baxter, we have a sense of time passing. Do we make the most of the time we have? We can make ourselves the victim of time always complaining that there is not enough of it, that it has passed us by, or that each day is endless, full of the doldrums and its boredom. But time is what we make of it. Do we make something good of it by filling the time with service? Days and nights are long when they are spent alone and disengaged from others. Time drags when we have no meaningful work to do. Meaningful work is work that contributes to the betterment of others’ lives. It can be paid or unpaid, on the clock or off it, skilled and learned or simple and rote. But if it contributes to making something better for others, it makes the time we spend at it full and satisfying.

We declare when we bless the Paschal Candle at the Easter Vigil that Christ is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. To Him belong all times and seasons. Christ is meant to fill our days and nights no matter what time is registered on the clocks. He is there when we spend the time for others, whether that is in direct service to the needy and poor, the confined and dying, our families, our communities or our church, or it is in prayer for others, in time given to visit and listen to others, in work that makes more than a paycheck, that makes a better world for us all. Christ lives in time—standard or daylight saving—whenever His disciples use their time to make His presence and power tangible in the good they do for others.

So as we get used to Standard Time for the next five months, let us measure its passing not as Baxter does - waiting for the next meal - but as God does waiting for the next opportunity to save a piece of the world by offering our loving service to it.

-Monsignor Statnick

Cat Milk

Most cats are lactose intolerant, even though many cats love milk. Baxter loves his milk, but I am sure to give him the kind for cats with the lactose removed. I don’t know if he knows that difference. He certainly wants his little dish of the stuff every morning before I leave the house, and he licks the bowl dry when he gets it. This cat milk doesn’t look very appetizing to me. Its color is beige and its consistency a little thick, but those things don’t seem to matter to Baxter. He is happy with his milk fix each morning, and I am happy that his stomach stays settled after he has had his daily portion.

We humans also find ourselves in the same predicament at times. We like something. We even crave it, but it isn’t always good for us. Sometimes we can find a substitute or a modified version of what we desire that allows us to indulge without harming ourselves too much. Think of sugar substitutes for people with diabetes, or non-alcoholic cocktails for those with alcoholism. However, sometimes we ignore our condition and just satisfy our craving. At first, this approach may cause no problem for us. We don’t have any immediate symptoms of our intolerance, and we feel satisfied after a bit of indulgence.

Who doesn’t enjoy a sweet, gooey treat, or a relaxing drink at the end of the day? What’s the problem?

The problem is that we are not facing our condition squarely and adjusting our lives accordingly. We pretend that everything is the way it was in the past or the way we want it to be now rather than the way it, in fact, is. We convince ourselves that no harm is being done, and we deserve these moments of pleasure and enjoyment. For the sake of some momentary satisfaction, we don’t take the longterm consequences into account, and we may not even look at what is happening now. We just do what we always did, what we want now, and refuse to look at the full picture of our behavior.

Jesus challenges this outlook in the gospel accounts. He constantly asks people to look at the big picture, the long view, the attitudes that we hold and their effects. Think of the Samaritan woman at the well. It’s not about satisfying a physical thirst but a thirsty soul. Recall the story of the miraculous catch of fish. It’s not about an abundance of physical food, but the abundance of people looking for God. How about the parable of the prodigal son? While the two sons are focused on what they can or cannot get, the father wants only to love them unconditionally.

So often in the gospels, people give into lesser desires so that they cannot discover their true hearts’ desires for love, forgiveness, meaning, purpose and hope in their lives. These satisfy us in ways that no passing pleasure can, and they lead us beyond the immediate situation to consider ourselves in the light of eternity.

Baxter found a way to enjoy milk without its nasty side effects for him. We are called to find a way to enjoy life without indulging ourselves in behaviors that may satisfy us for the moment, but in the long run, harm us. Jesus is that way, and He invites us to follow Him.

Favorite Places

Baxter has his favorite places. Most of these have to do with sleeping spots—his mattress under the window, the TV table with a blanket on top, my bed. Some are places to sit like my chair at the dining room table or the window sill facing the side yard. When he is in the mood, Baxter wants to explore the basement. Then he lies on the old couch down there to get away from all the street noise upstairs. All of these spots are places where Baxter feels safe and secure, warm and comfortable, and he can stay in one of these places for hours, waking and sleeping, occasionally changing positions, but always at peace.

Where do we go for peace? In the noisy, crowded and hurried world we live in, a quiet, comfortable spot is not always easy to find. We recreate in places where we can shop or watch a game or listen to music, but these are often like the rest of the world. They are loud with a lot of people speaking over the sounds and elbowing each other for a place at the table. It is fun to be together with all the excitement being shared, but it is still much like the everyday work world we face. The only difference here is that we can dress down, don’t have to report to anyone, and have no deadlines to meet. These places are relaxing, but in a charged way.

Come home, and often the same atmosphere prevails. While the decibels may be down, the noise is still there with the televisions, phones and music devices, and the activity is still nonstop. With emails and text messages we are never away from our work, our friends and family, and all the demands for our attention from advertising. Then there are the robo-calls soliciting our attention and support for all sorts of causes. Is it any wonder that we feel homeless at times, unable to find a place to relax, to be quiet with ourselves, and be undisturbed with our own thoughts and reflection?

Maybe we need to do a little remodeling. It doesn’t necessarily involve physical construction. Rather, to get the space we are looking for we need to adjust the space we are in. Turn off the phones, computers, television and all other electronic devices. We need to find a way to quiet our living space, turn off the demands for our attention and enter into ourselves. It is almost impossible to be in touch with God and our soul’s desire for Him when we can’t be at peace. Opening our spirits to the holy mystery that can’t be readily heard or seen requires us to relinquish the sights and sounds of this world for a while.

Take a tip from Baxter. Make a favorite place in your everyday world where God can speak, you can listen, and peace can be found.

-Monsignor Statnick

Our Soft Underbelly

Cats are very protective of their underbellies. They usually guard them literally with claws bared. Their stomachs are very sensitive, and they keep them hidden from any third party intrusion. They know they are vulnerable in this area, so they let no one near for fear of harm. Baxter was that way for a long time. However, more recently, he has begun to roll over on his back and look for a scratch on his stomach. He starts to purr when I pat his pure white underside, and he continues his pleasant disposition as long as I am soft and gentle in my approach. When he has had enough, he jumps up and walks away, and I have to respect the boundaries he sets. Baxter has come a long way in relying upon me and trusting in my care for his well-being.

We all have our own soft underbellies--things about us that we are sensitive about. Maybe they come from past hurts, experiences that directly wounded our relationship with someone due to an insult, a betrayal or a disagreement that remains unresolved. Maybe they come from our expectations of ourselves or others. We have certain unwritten rules of how others should talk and act, and when they don’t meet these rules, we are offended. Of course, the other person may not know the rules, and not even realize they are offending us.

Maybe our sensitivities come from our backgrounds. We all carry the baggage we inherited from the way we were raised. Some of this baggage is heavy. We react to situations and people not out of the present relationship, but in terms of what we felt and understood from our pasts. This can cause a problem. We automatically begin to protect ourselves based on what we learned from an earlier unpleasant experience. The person presently in our life isn’t aware of our past, and so he or she cannot understand where we are coming from and why we are acting as we do. There’s no trust here, and the relationship is always weighed down for unclear reasons.

These sensitivities don’t just affect our family and friendships. They also influence our spiritual relationships. How we connect with God and with the Church come from past personal experiences, from what we learned either formally or informally, and from the religious background we bring to our present faith life. We may have been hurt by a personal tragedy and blame God for it. We may have encountered someone in the Church who was rude and intolerant, and we write every church person off because of them. We may have expected God to do certain things for us, and feel disappointed and betrayed that He didn’t come through. We may feel betrayed by the Church because some of its members have failed gravely and were dishonest about it. We may feel threatened by God or abandoned by Him because of what we were taught about God’s ways from our backgrounds. We may feel dismissed and disrespected because of the way authority was exercised in the Church. Whatever it might be, the effects are clear. We feel distanced from God and a stranger in God’s house. We are afraid to become vulnerable to the love and care of our God, and to allow God’s people to express this love and care towards us.

We can learn from Baxter. First, it takes time to build or rebuild trust. We cannot slough off the past in the blink of aneye. It takes time for feelings to heal, for ideas to change, for relationships to grow. Second, put the past behind us and live in the present. Take new people at face value, unless they become two-faced to us. Forgive the past, and we will release the power of grace in the present moment. Third, dare to think differently. There is always more to God than we at first imagine. God does not rescue us from life’s pain and loss. He saves us from allowing that pain and loss to sap our lives of meaning and caring for each other. Loving despite the hurt is what Jesus showed us on the cross. Finally, don’t be afraid of the feelings. We have permission to be angry, confused, frustrated or hurt when others take advantage of our vulnerabilities. Read the Book of Lamentations, the Psalms, or Jesus on the cross. Just don’t get stuck there. God can empathize with our pain, but He won’t allow us to wallow in it. Resurrection follows suffering and death as the powerful mystery of life.

Baxter has learned to expose his tender underbelly to a loving touch. We can too, and it’s God’s hand on us.

-Monsignor Statnick























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Slowing Down

Baxter is slowing down. He is fifteen years old now, and I can see how time has changed his pace. Although he can still have an episode of chasing his own shadow or a piece of kibble, generally he walks his way through the day.

He moseys out to get his cat milk in the morning. He lets spiders live rather than use them as his toys. He also has become much more docile. He lets me pet him whenever I like,and when he has to have his monthly flea medicine, he just lies down until the vile of liquid is squirted onto the back of his neck. He still likes to jump into the bath tub for a drink from the spigot, and onto the bed for his afternoon nap. He still gets excited around dinner time, and perks up at strange sounds. But all in all, Baxter is slower, calmer and friendlier in his later years, than he was as a young cat.

Aging has its pluses and minuses. The symptoms of physical wear and tear become obvious. There is stiffness when we stand up at first. Stairs may take longer to negotiate and produce some heavier breathing on the ascent. We become helpless without our glasses, and we have to turn up the TV or radio to hear it clearly. All of these physical changes slow us down.

God may be sending us messages here. Now we have to notice ourselves and our surroundings more carefully. It’s an opportunity to see what we may have never noticed before. Smell the roses, and also discover the hidden garbage. Maybe we need a few attitude adjustments along with adjusting our motor skills.

Instead of getting frustrated, enjoy the slower pace life is calling us to live. Learn to appreciate what others do for us rather than finding something wrong with it. Waiting for something or someone isn’t always bad. It teaches us patience, and that things can take their own course without jeopardizing anything. Think about what we do have—the people, the memories, the fruits of our labors—and give thanks.

Since many things don’t have to get done in a hurry, be flexible about how they get done. My way is not the only way. Pay attention to what is important, and don’t fuss about the little things. Loose ends don’t unravel unless we pull them. Others aren’t perfect; we aren’t perfect; only God is perfect. Praise God, and love the imperfections. They are the hooks God uses to draw us to His saving grace.

Looking at Baxter getting older, I see myself as well. We can get angry about what’s happening and frustrated with the limitations it places upon us, or we can embrace the opportunities our slower pace and reduced drive offer us. We can connect with each other more sincerely and less defensively. We can fill our hearts with gratitude for the blessings we may have never recognized. We can let God be God, and accept our humanity with humility and dignity. We can grow in “wisdom, age and grace” just as Jesus did.
-Monsignor Statnick

A Creature of Habit

Baxter is a creature of habit. You can almost set your watch by his daily routine. He rises with the sound of the feeder exposing a portion of food for his breakfast at 4:30 AM. He gets a drink of water twice after he has had his share of kibble-- I guess to wash it down. Then it’s a bathroom break and a rest on the bedroom rug before he makes his move to the cat mattress for a serious hour and a half nap. Before I leave for Mass though, he will get up while I’m having breakfast for his slug of “cat milk”. What he does while I’m gone for the morning is a bit of a mystery. I expect he sleeps for a good portion of the morning, but I also suspect that he has a few tricks up his paw that he keeps hidden from me. I think he might roam the dining room table when I’m not around because he knows that he is not supposed to be up there. I also think he explores the boxes in the spare room where my old tax returns are kept. He wants to find out if he’s getting his fair share of my assets.

We all have habits to get us through the day, week or year. Some are obvious to anyone who knows us. Others may be hidden from view. Habits keep our life steady. They create an order to our activities. Because we don’t have to think about them, they allow for less effort in getting things done.Getting ready for the day in the morning, and ready for bed at night usually involve a routine that we follow out of habit. Weekly, I gather the garbage for pick up on Mondays. Every four or five weeks I get a haircut in the same style from the same barber. The holidays have longstanding habits associated with them. We call them traditions. Certain foods, festive gatherings and decorations are all a regular part of our celebrating certain seasons. We don’t have to wonder what we will do this Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc. We know the ritual.

The Church uses habits as well. The liturgical cycle is fundamentally the same every year. We are asked to develop a habit of Sunday Mass, regular participation in the Sacrament of Penance, daily prayer, almsgiving and service to others. Even the teachings of the Church are meant to form a habit of mind that sets our thinking in a certain direction when issues arise. These habits are meant to incorporate us into God’s ordering of life, because through these activities we participate in God’s actions in our world. Yet, there is a catch.

Habits are the first step in forming us as disciples, but they alone won’t get us to a life style of discipleship. The ordering of our actions to God’s ways has to be internalized. We have to understand the reason for these habits, allow them to change our sentiments and attitudes, and use the values they embody to set our priorities. Habits of religious behavior are meant to shape our characters as persons of faith. When religious practices become more than mindless routines, they mark us as virtuous people. We do what we do because these actions show who we are and reinforce our faith in what we can yet become with God’s grace.

Baxter’s instincts lead him to a regular habit of living. It’s his survival technique. Our desire to find God leads us to form habits, but these practices are meant to help us grow as persons who reflect the holy mystery in our lives, and continue to seek its love and understanding. They are habits of the heart—not gross instincts—that in time are meant to form a person who thinks, feels, decides and acts as God would in our world.

-Monsignor Statnick

Stretching

When Baxter arises from a nap, the first thing he does is stretch. His is not a half-hearted exercise. When he stretches, he seems to engage every joint, muscle and ligament in his body. He stands, curls his back in a Halloween pose, then places his front paws far in front of him and pulls his body. Finally, he extends his back legs to pull his body from behind. Sometimes, as a last flourish, he will stand upright and separately shake each of his back legs before he scurries off looking for stray kibble. After witnessing an episode of this cat yoga, I do admire Baxter’s flexibility and the way his body seems to fall back into place after an extended period of restful slumber. Stretching gets him ready to take on the wakeful world again.

We need to stretch as well. We need it to get tone back in our muscles and help to avoid injury. But we need to stretch our spirits also. Too often our spiritual lives become compacted and limp. We follow comfortable routines we have done for years that lull us to sleep. We say prayers, but often miss the meaning of what we are saying. We go to Mass on Sundays, but come out of church not remembering what we said and did there. We drop a donation in the collection for some need, but don’t feel the pinch of sacrificial giving. We have heard each other speak, but we don’t listen to each other’s hearts behind the words. We go through life half-asleep and enjoying the comforts we use to keep us that way. We can become spiritually soft and weak, and not realize how we got this way.

We need to stretch. Sometimes life stretches us and invites us to cooperate in the exercise. We face challenges in raising children, in a job, in marital relationships and friendships. We can ignore them and pretend that everything is just as it always was, or we can try to reach out in new ways, to try new approaches, to go in directions we have never explored before. God unfolds Himself in ongoing ways if we go beyond our comfort zone. At other times, we ourselves can stretch our limits. Like an athlete, we can challenge ourselves to give a little more, do a little more, think a little deeper, pray in a new form that reaches into the silence of God’s mystery. These efforts help to condition us to expand and strengthen our spirits. We become more flexible to discover God’s presence in ways and circumstances we missed before. We can adapt to how God wants to be with us, rather than in how we want God to be for us. Grace begins to condition our spiritual lives, rather than our setting the conditions for God in our lives.

Baxter is quite smart to stretch before he gets moving again after a rest. It aligns his body and avoids injuries. Some stretching of our spirits would do all of us some good as well, aligning us more with God’s ways rather than our own, and making our hearts nimble to avoid silly hurts and take on genuine forgiveness.
-Monsignor Statnick

Getting a Whiff of Things

Baxter’s nose is amazing. It leads him through life. When I am having lunch, Baxter is usually just waking from his morning siesta. I come in the door and go back to my bedroom to see him, and he looks up at me but doesn’t make any effort to move. He continues to lounge in place, easing himself into consciousness and activity. When I go into the kitchen to prepare something to eat, he still remains prone and seemingly apathetic. Nothing is going to force Baxter to disturb his comfort. Nothing, until he gets a whiff of something appetizing.

I don’t know how he does it. His sense of smell is so acute that it picks up the slightest hint of his favorite foods. I can understand how opening a packet of tuna might set Baxter stirring, but opening a package of graham crackers? He loves graham crackers, and as soon as I break open the package to get a treat to top off my lunch, Baxter comes running to my side for his share. From two rooms away, he picks up the scent, and this olfactory stimulation sets him begging for a morsel. (I may have to try eating in my car in the garage to have an undisturbed lunch.)

What are we prone to sniffing out? Often it’s not thekindest smells. Some of us are keen on gossip. We wake from our drowsy, boring ways of getting through the day when we get a whiff of something shady on someone. Somebody’s marriage is rocky. Someone’s kid is in trouble with the law. Someone is sick with a serious illness. Somebody lost a fortune on a business deal. Someone has a drug or alcohol problem. Whatever misfortune we smell about another, we can’t often resist the hunger it rouses for more.

A tidbit only whets our appetite. Having tasted a juicy piece of information about another, we want more, the full story, all the details. We aren’t satisfied until we think we have it all. What gives here?

Gossip allows us to avoid what really smells around us—our sin and weakness. When we get caught up in pursuing gossip, we stop looking at ourselves and reflecting on how we need to grow. Our attention is drawn to other’s faults and failures, so that we don’t have to be honest about our own and try doing something about them. We lose focus on our own lives, so that we begin to assume there is nothing wrong.

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?” (Luke 6: 41)

Baxter’s nose is programmed for “good” smells, things that nourish him and that he likes to consume. Our noses are often in the air for the opposite kind of scents that we hope to discover on each other. We need a way to freshen theair between us. Smell the roses in other’s lives, and the rot in our own. Admire the roses and get rid of our rot. In that way, the world will be a fresher place for all of us.

-Monsignor Statnick

Shutting Out the World

Baxter loves to sleep curled in a ball. He walks around his bed for a few moments, plops down, settles into place, and then rolls his body so that his head and tail meet with his face nestled in his soft and warm stomach. In this pose, it is hard to figure out what exactly he is. He looks more like a furry pillow than a cat. When Baxter is set in this self-enclosed circle, he is dead to the world. Lights and sounds go unnoticed; I can come and go around him without any reaction. At times, Baxter is so removed from life in this disposition that I have to watch him carefully for a few seconds to make sure his diaphragm is moving. He’s not dead, but he is dead to the world.

Wouldn’t we all like to learn this cat trick? The times we are in sometimes seem so confusing, upsetting, threatening and contentious that we are at a loss for what to do. How do we fix the Middle East, the environment, economic inequality, racial divides, cultural divisions? How do we stop terrorism and nuclear armaments? Whom do we trust to lead us through these dilemmas? What do we teach our children about the right way to live in this world? Where is God in all this?

No wonder we would like to curl in a ball and escape it all, just sleep away until we can awaken to a new world with all the problems solved. But for us humans, and especially for us Catholic Christians, it doesn’t work that way.

This messy, unclear and uncertain world we live in is the place where we must work out our salvation. Trying to escape the picture doesn’t give us a better way. It simply gets us nowhere, living in a dream-land from which we must eventually awaken and face the situation we left when we fell asleep. Like Baxter when he awakens from his deep sleep, we need to lift our heads, stand and stretch, and get moving again. Our church offers some tried and true advice on how to do this.

Start with prayer. Pray for God’s presence and power to be felt as we tackle the dilemmas of 2016. Next, learn the Church’s teachings on the principles that guide our way towards the best solutions. The document, “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship”, and other explanations of Catholic social teachings are examples of these. Finally, have a conversation—not an argument--with others trying to be faithful disciples as they grapple with the issues of our day. Listen to their concerns; ask questions about why they hold the positions they do; think about the agreements and differences that surface between us and what they tell us about each other, our problems and God’s ways in our midst.

Baxter can afford to curl in a ball and sleep his life away in peace. We don’t have that luxury. We need to be about God’s work in the uncertain times and perplexing situations we face. As daunting as this task may be, we cannot abandon it, for we are His disciples and the instruments of His grace. So wake up and don’t be afraid. “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Doing Tricks: Part 2

Not long ago I wrote about how Charlie has quite a repertoire of tricks he can do. Like many dogs, he can sit, speak, and lay down. In addition to that, Charlie can roll over, play dead, and shake hands. His tricks are amusing for me and my friends, but not all dogs do tricks.

Some dogs live a very simple life. They never learn any tricks at all. I guess their owners either treat those animals as outside pets or perhaps don’t have the patience for using nonverbal cues to teach an animal.

There are other dogs that have a tremendous capacity for learning, but I wouldn't really call what they do tricks. We have trained dogs to sniff out drugs, to function as security animals, and even to be working companions to people with a variety of disabilities.

Service dogs are trained to help people with disabilities including service to those who are blind, deaf, and/or paralyzed in some way. These dogs can do such things as lead a person, turn lights on and off, retrieve needed objects, and even bring a phone.

All of these learned abilities don’t necessarily speak to the intelligence of the dog as much to their formation and training. Of course, their particular temperament is a factor in both their training and then what partner they are paired with.

I think people aren’t much different when it comes to occupations. There are folks who have a capacity to learn many skills, and there are those that don’t. We have nurses, doctors, and surgeons who are all in the medical field, but have different types of training and education. Also necessary masons and plumbers have specialized training, but in a much different environment than medical professionals.

We have come to accept that people have a different capacity for learning and study, and also different natural talents and temperaments. These things play a pivotal role in what occupation a person eventually takes on in life. We also respect the person that decides after 20 or 30 years in a particular field, that they want to do something different, and so learn a new trade.

Right about now I suppose you are thinking, sure Christy, but what does any of this have to do with God or the Church? Well, I think these are very much related!

When we talk about our faith life, it has become popular to call it a journey. In this diocese, we even refer to it as a “journey of a lifetime.” Although we say those words, I don’t know if we really give them the credence they deserve.

It seems to me we go about expecting others to have the same level of engagement in our faith life that we do.

Whether we have a little or a lot of God in our life, we think everybody ought to do the same. But that isn’t really how we were made, was it?

We also say we should meet people where they are, but then hold them to a higher standard than they are able to fulfil, but that isn’t fair or just.

Just like dogs in their abilities, or our occupations, people learn and grow in their faith both to different levels of understanding and in different ways of engagement. They also grow at different rates and based on different circumstances.

We don’t have control over another person’s faith life any more than we have control over any of their relationships. Each individual has to come to relationship with God in their own way. It isn’t ours to judge how much a person can handle at their particular juncture. All we can offer others is what hasmade sense for us and how God has been present in our lives. That may or may not work for the other person, and we need to learn to give that to God.

Ultimately, I don’t think a dog is loved any less if he does a thousand tricks or none at all. The same is true of God. Right, Charlie?

-Christy Cabaniss
Parish Minister

Helping Out

I love having a dog, but it sure is a lot of work. Charlie needs to be fed twice a day every day. He needs to be given water several times a day, especially in the heat we have been having. He also needs to be supervised when doing doggie business outside. 

Then there are his grooming needs! A dog with such beautiful long hair needs to be brushed  regularly. Since he is an inside dog, he needs to have his nails trimmed, and I buff them for him too. At least once a month he gets a bath to keep his skin fresh and clean.

Charlie also needs to visit the veterinarian! So far, he has been a healthy pup so he only goes once a year. He gets a regular check-up and any boosters he might need.

Along with all of Charlie’s physical needs, he also needs love and attention. He gets lots of pets and snuggles from me, but he also needs to play. He wants to run around, chase a ball, and hunt for woodland creatures. 

All this is a lot of work for just one person, so I am thankful that my husband and kids are there to help out! I wouldn’t be able to take care of all of Charlie’s needs with just them, though. We need the vet to take care of shots and checkups. When I go on vacation, we get friends to watch him or he

goes to the kennel.

We need others in more than just pet care. We need others in our lives everyday. 

There seems to be a strong tendency (especially for us, Americans) to think we can do things on our own. Independence is highly valued. I don’t know if it’s really a true story, though.

If you think about it, there isn’t much you can say you’ve done without some help from others.

We don’t learn to walk or talk or read on our own. We don’t grow all our own food. We don’t drive in cars we’ve made or on roads we’ve paved. We don’t pay ourselves, we don’t generate our own electric, and we don’t build our own homes.

While we like to kid ourselves that we are independent, the truth is we rely on others for many things. That reliance seems to increase as we age or if we become ill. One of the complaints I hear most often when I visit homebound folks is that they aren’t independent anymore. The good news is, there are people who want to help!

One of the things I find interesting about working for the church is the plethora of people who want to do something good and positive for others and the severe lack of folks who want someone to help them.

It seems funny that every time we read the story of the good Samaritan the only person we imagine being is the passerby or the helper. What about when you are the one who has been robbed and beaten?

Of course, I don’t wish ill on anyone, but misfortune, poor health, and even old age happen to us as part of life. That’s reality. Why do we try so hard to pretend either it isn’t happening or won’t?

Vulnerability is part of human existence. We are fragile both physically and mentally. That is a scary state, especially in a world that insists on our security and strength.

God knows our weakness and he loves us through it. He sent Jesus to show us the way, and He told us how to care for each other. Life has that beautiful ebb and flow like the ocean. Sometimes we give the help, sometimes we receive it. There is no shame in that. 

We need each other. We cannot accomplish much in life without others. It is through learning how to accept love and assistance from other people that we learn how to accept that love and assistance from God, himself.

Charlie doesn’t mind who puts the food in his dish, he only knows that he can’t do it for himself. I guess he has learned to ask for help. Right, Charlie?

Christy Cabaniss - Parish Minister

Doing Tricks

Charlie is quite a showman! Since he has come into our care, his bright intellect has led me to teach him many tricks. His doggie tricks started when we first adopted him and he already knew the command, “Sit.” From there, we taught him to lay down. He also learned to “Speak,” on command.

Once we had these basics down, it was on to more complicated tricks. Charlie now can either speak, a loud bark, or whisper, a series of doggie groans that sound like mumbling. He can also play dead when shot with a pointed finger, and roll over.

The most recent addition to his repertoire is to “wave” good-bye. This is where I ask for a paw to shake, but never offer my own hand so that it appears he is waving.

Why do I make my dog do these silly circus tricks? Is it an effort to exert my own authority? Well, yes. In dog mentality, there is a hierarchy and in forcing my dog to do tricks for treats, I enforce my alpha status.

Of course, I never catch Charlie rolling over or waving good-bye of his own accord, he only does these things when a treat is promised. He will, however, start doing some tricks without prompting if the treat jar is mentioned.

It seems that we humans might have this same idea when it comes to God. There are some who preach a “Gospel of Good Fortune.” That is, if we follow all the rules, and do things just like God wants us to, we will be healthy and wealthy in this life. Some folks also think that if they follow all the practices and maintain superficial standards they are all set. It isn’t really that simple, though is it?

Life isn’t just about externals. A quick way to show what I’m talking about is to look at raising children. There aren’t really a set of rules to follow to ensure one has successful children. Each child is an individual, and their particular needs and personality demand different things from their parents in the way of both punishment and reward. Even when your kids move out and have good jobs, it doesn’t mean you’ve necessarily been a good parent.

The same is true in the workforce. Just because you are on time everyday and put in exactly 40 hours, you don’t automatically achieve raises or promotions. It also doesn’t signify you are doing good or conscientious work.

Perhaps the main difference between our secular practices and our religious ones is that our Christian practice is supposed to lead us closer to God. Let me clarify this.

When I go to Mass on Sunday, it isn’t really supposed to be so that I don’t go to hell when I die or because my mom told me to. I go to Mass on Sunday to re-orient my life. I go to place God above myself as the one who deserves worship. I also go to recognize that I am not the only one on this journey. I go to share in the relationship with my brothers and sisters and to encounter Jesus. There are a million other reasons, but I think you catch my drift.

All the practices of being a Christian aren’t for their own sake, they are supposed to help us. In previous generations, folks did things because they were told to, and while that isn’t bad in and of itself, it can leave out some of the most engaging reasons why we would practice our faith.

God isn’t some rulemiser judge watching to see if we have punched our coupon card. He is a loving and gentle companion who seeks us out so we can grow and be better than we were yesterday.

Charlie does some really great tricks, but since he’s just a dog, he only does it for the physical reward. We aren’t dogs. We engage in our faith because it helps us to grow in love of God and one another.

There aren’t any tricks about that. Right, Charlie?

- Christy Cabaniss: Parish Minister

Jumping Around

My dog has some really ridiculous behaviors. In his defense, I think that most of them are a result of genetics and instinct. Let me explain…

I think that Charlie might be a new breed of dog, only recognized by the AKC in 2003, called a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever. This dog is the smallest in the retriever family and looks like a miniature golden retriever with white markings. The breed was developed to help duck hunters. In the wild, a fox will play at the waters edge in order to entice a duck to come closer, which the silly ducks do! The dog was bred to simulate fox behavior so hunters would have an advantage and then send the dog to retrieve it. This frolicking behavior is actually part of the breed standard and a dog must pass a field test exhibiting it to be considered an actual Nova Scotia Duck Toller.

Charlie exhibits this EXACT behavior! When he thinks he is on the hunt he leaps around our yard like a Tigger. Tail is flashing back and forth and all four paws literally leap from spot to spot.

He never catches anything when he acts like that, though, because rodents are scared away by his breed standard behavior. It is hilarious to watch from a human perspective, though.

I wonder if we don’t scare folks away with our leaping and jumping about when it comes to God? Let me explain.

Sometimes we think that there needs to be some big huge movement to signal that God is involved in what we are doing. We think we need to proclaim Christmas greetings and God’s blessing upon all those we meet. We think we need to offer explanation for our good treatment of others: that it is for the kingdom of God.

We also think that people need to come to us in droves. The way we can tell if our programs are successful is if oodles of people are in attendance.

We also fall into this all or nothing trap with our treatment of others, but in an opposite sense. We talk a good game about justice, peace, and love toward one another in the plural, but we renege when it comes to a single person. When faced with a particular individual all our judgement and anxiety take over and we aren’t just, or peaceful, or loving toward them.

I suppose that it is the intimacy and vulnerability of facing a single person that brings out the worst in us. But, this is ultimately where the rubber hits the road with our faith.

Being a Christian isn’t really converting huge numbers of people, it’s about individual relationships.

If we look to the bible for guidance, we will see that God operates on the small scale more often than on a large one. While in the Gospels Jesus did preach to the crowds, and they did follow him about, you only hear about the real conversions on a one on one basis.

Think of who brought you into the church. Whether a cradle Catholic, a convert, or some other state, you learned about God from someone. We can almost always point to an individual (or a few individuals) who set an example, shared their faith, and who loved us.

Practicing Christianity involves a listening ear and a loving heart. That means forgiving others, for ALL their failures. It also means realizing that we too have flaws, and need to ask for forgiveness.

Just like Charlie we have a natural tendency to jump around and make a big fuss when we are after something. Unlike Charlie, we have a mind and can reason, so we don’t have to be bound to our instincts. Learning to love others on a one on one basis is hard and takes practice. It’s part of our faith tradition to understand discipline and virtue, though.

St. Paul says, “I can do all things through Christ!”

(No jumping required!)

Right, Charlie?

~Christy Cabaniss
Parish Minister

A friend in need

I get many compliments on what a great dog Charlie is often. It is true, for the most part he is a really good dog. But, why do other people tell me that? It doesn’t hurt that he is really quite handsome. Something about his butterscotch color with the white accents is just pleasing to the eye. His fur is also exceptionally soft, so petting him is really a pleasure. He isn’t too big either. At just 40 lbs., he isn’t an ankle biter, and he isn’t imposing. Ultimately though, his calm demeanor and friendliness toward people is what wins them over, I think.

Charlie is always interested in making new friends, but he doesn’t forget about the ones he already has, either. One of the great things about dogs is that they really sense their owners attitudes. From what I have heard, cats do much the same. If their owner is sick, the pet will stay right by their side. The same is true when the owner is sad. Somehow pets just seem to have a sixth sense about what is going on with their people.

I remember when I lost a really close friend. The news came in that morning, and I could not stop crying. I was devastated. Charlie didn’t know what to do. He just knew his mistress was upset. So, he did the best thing a dog can do. He sat in my lap and let me cry into his fur until I didn’t have any tears left.

When people in our life are having a hard time or aregrieving, it’s hard to know what to do. We are in such an immediate gratification culture that it’s hard to process problems that just take time.

We want answers when there is a problem, and we want them NOW. We ask our friends or maybe our parents, and sometimes, we even ask Google. How can I solve this problem that I am having?

It can be even more difficult to be the person called upon to have the answer! You rack your brain, give similar experience stories, or tell of what others have done in the same situation.

Whether we have a problem, or are trying to help with the problem having the right answer always seems to be the key. If you are able to come up with it, somehow you are the hero.

But, maybe that isn’t what’s always necessary.

I spend my fair share of time in our bereavement groups we have every spring and fall. There are two very particular things that I have noticed about these groups. The first is that there are no answers when you have lost a loved one. The second is, that when a person is suffering a loss the thing they need most is a friend who will listen without judgement, or answers.

Death and dying aren’t things we talk about much in our culture. It’s taboo and that’s because it’s scary. Who wants to think about their loved ones dying? But, the disservice we do to ourselves by not talking about it is that we aren’t prepared when death comes.

I don’t mean prepared for loss. Nothing can ever prepare you for that. I mean knowing  that grief is a journey through uncharted wilderness and that it takes time. I mean knowing that being sad when you lose a loved one is normal. I also mean that we need to learn to be prepared to be that listening ear for others when they are suffering. We get caught up in having the answers and finding a solution. Mostly you’ll find that a person in pain just wants you to sit and listen. Listen to how much that person meant to them and what they are going through. They need to know you are there.

God is there for us too, but part of our Christian understanding is knowing that God reaches out to us through others. We can be the face of Christ to one another by listening and offering comfort to those in pain.

That little dog of mine has been there to hear my cries and dry my tears. The world would be a better place if we could learn to do the same for one another. Right, Charlie?

-Christy Cabaniss

Pet Rescue

Charlie is a rescue. That is, we adopted him from the local animal shelter in Greensburg. Someone called the local dog catcher because this little blonde mutt was scavenging in the trash.

Charlie was not neutered. He did not have a micro-chip tracking device. He had no collar or tags. The shelter vet estimated him to be about two years old.

How on earth did this gorgeous dog get to be two years old without someone caring for him? No one wanted this adorable friendly little pup? Really?

I know there are many who are flabbergasted by this, but everyday people lose their pets. Some pets run away, some are left behind, and some pets are even dumped in the hopes that someone else will care for them. Why do people do this?

There are thousands of reasons why a person can no longer keep a pet. In some cases the care of a pet becomes too much for them. High maintenance pets through illness or bad behavior can complicate life in ways we weren’t expecting. Sometimes, though, its our own selfishness that gets in the way.

What I find most interesting, though, is that folks get really upset when they hear about this happening to animals, but don’t we sometimes do this to people?

Are there people in your life that you have thrown away? Ones that you can’t seem to get along with? What of the people we don’t know that we throw away: the poor, the elderly, the sick? Do we ignore those who are struggling in our midst?

I know that it is difficult to see these things. The norms of our society are that a person should help himself; that people should work and earn their portion. What if a person can’t earn their portion, though, because of illness, physical or mental? What if they haven’t been taught how to fend for themselves? What if, like Charlie, they learned the wrong way to make ends meet?

We make lots of excuses for why we don’t have to be generous and loving, but that isn’t how Jesus teaches us to be. What are we doing in church every week if we never take any part of the Gospel out of the building with us?

Living as a disciple of Jesus doesn’t mean you have to be some kind of cheesy “church-lady” fake-out. It means that you look outside yourself, and as that one president said, ask what you can do for others. It means that you are thankful for what you have instead of constantly seeking more. It also means that some-times you have to bury the hatchet and love someone in spite of the fact that they have wronged you. It means you give second chances.

Jesus shows us all of this time and again if we would just listen to the Gospels. He reached out to those in need, he did not turn them away. He healed them and fed them. He literally showed us how to love and evangelize.

I don’t know about you, but the person that drives me most nuts is the hypocrite. You know, the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do type. That’s the opposite of who Christ was. He did all of the things he told us to do. That’s why he could even give his life for us. He did it to show us the love of God.

That’s the Good News. We can be excited to share it with others because God loves us all that much. Not the lim-ited way we love each other but with fullness and abundance.

Instead of throwing each other away because we feel re-jected and un-loved, perhaps we could give ourselves one more chance. Maybe we could all benefit by letting a stray into our lives. That stray might even be ourselves.

Charlie was a stray be-cause someone threw him away, but because of that I have been blessed with the most wonderful dog. Right, Charlie?

-Christy Cabaniss

Relaxing

One thing Baxter can do well is relax. He has mastered the art of doing nothing and accomplishing it in the most unusual positions. He has no guilt over spending hours prone, stretched out in the sunshine, licking his chops. He hates to be disturbed at times like these. He is content with letting life pass him by while he absorbs the surroundings their warmth, their quiet, and their soft comfort on a chair, rug or bed.

Nothing is more importantthan the present moment when Baxter is in his “down time”, and even a call for treats or a game of fetch won’t tempt him to give up his relaxation. Baxter knows how to let go of his worries and enjoy the freedom of doing nothing. He is a master at it.

We all need to learn this lesson. Sometimes we get trapped into thinking we are indispensable, that unless we do it, it won’t get done, that no one is good enough or conscientious enough to take our place. We get trapped into taking care of everything around us, and once one job is completed, we are looking for another to fill our time. We don’t know how to relax, and so we miss so much of what life has to offer.

Sunrises and sunsets, wild flowers blooming, a child’s smile or peaceful sleep, a simple “thank you” or the sound of rain on the roof, these are free gifts, if we take the time to notice them. Prayer happens best when we don’t work at it. Just place ourselves in God’s presence and let God do the work. The closeness, the peace, the quiet intimacy with the holy come to us most often when we are relaxed with God. Trying too hard or with too much intensity about getting it all said and done might complete our prayers, but we miss the point of praying—enjoying and appreciating the love God shows us in just being with us.

Jesus went off on His own to pray and relax. He called our attention to the lilies of the field and the birds of the air that neither worry nor toil but know God’s care. He walked, He didn’t run, on His ministry journeys from town to town. He took time to talk to people, especially the least prominent— beggars, Samaritans, children.

While there was an urgency to His mission, He never seemed to be in a hurry when dealing with a particular situation. He has time for people, and this helps them understand God’s ways in their lives. Jesus shows that we can’t rush into the Kingdom of God. We get there slowly, changing one piece of our hearts at a time, waiting for God to show us how, and soaking in His love and grace slowly, carefully, gradually, over a lifetime. Baxter knows how to relax. I guess that’s why he’s going on vacation this summer after this Sunday’s bulletin. He’ll be back in the fall with more antics. In the meantime, follow his example and relax, stop worrying, take time off, and….pray.

For the Love of Baxter

I do all sorts of things for Baxter. Besides the basics of food, water, shelter, I also make sure his favorite places to sleep are clean and in order. I brush him daily. I greet him when I come home. I wait for him to drink from the spigot in the tub when he cries for it, and after his drink, I dry his wet head with a towel. I talk to him about the creatures in the yard outside the window. When I am away, I worry that he might be lonely. Regularly, I tell him he’s a good cat and my buddy. In all these ways, Baxter comes to know that he is loved and has a place in my life.

It’s easy to send this message to a pet. They ask for simple things as favors. They don’t take advantage of our kindness to deceive or manipulate us. They show affection without any strings attached, without expecting a future favor from the relationship. Pets are quite straightforward in their dealings with us and their expectations from us.

Maybe that’s why their affection seems so unconditional. It is clear, focused and unambiguous. They tell us what they like, and we try to provide it. In turn, we get a lot of satisfaction from this way of dealing with each other. No games, no guessing, no doubts, no intrigue, just simple, direct and genuine ways of connecting and caring for each other. No wonder we value them so much, and miss them when they are gone.

God calls us to deal with each other this way, but on a more profound level, the level of faith. Our adult relationships are partnerships of equals. We are all God’s children, and as such, we share a bond with each other based upon a common identity and purpose. Our relationships then are supposed to reflect a respect and value for each other, an honesty and integrity in how we deal with each other, and a generosity in our sharing God’s gifts with each other. There is no place for prejudice, for deception or fraud, for greed, envy or jealousy. When such vices enter into our connections, they poison them with mistrust and distance. We can’t live in a communion of saints because our self-serving and self-protective attitudes prevent any genuine bonding with each other. This is a sinful condition, and we can’t be satisfied in living with it.

For the love of our pets, we spend money, inconvenience ourselves, and go out of our way for their comfort and pleasure. But for the love of each other, we often are begrudging and narrow minded. Unless another measures up to our expectations, we eliminate them from our world. Unless another benefits my aspirations and ambition, I have no time for them. Jesus says, “Unless your holiness surpasses that of the scribes and the Pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of God.” (Mt. 5:20).

Our love for each other must be rooted in God’s love for each and every one of us. Pets may be easier to love, but people hold the secret to God’s love in our world. Learn from our pets, but don’t give up on people.

-Monsignor Statnick

Together

As a domestic cat, Baxter relies upon others for most things in his life. He counts on his meals being set out for him. He needs someone to set and clean his litter box. He “asks” for treats, for a drink from the spigot, for a door to be opened. For all of his independence in setting his own life style to do what he wants when, Baxter cannot do any of this daily routine without someone else helping him. If he were a feral cat, he would have to fend for himself, and that would put him in jeopardy. Feral cats don’t live very long on their own. Domestic cats can have a long and happy life because they rely upon others to help and protect them.

The same holds for us. Studies have shown that a major factor in human longevity is social connection and interaction. People whose lives are involved with each other, who help each other, who are available to each other in mutual assistance and support create a network that strengthens each person in it better than any solitary individual’s efforts to survive and thrive.

The burdens of life are easier to bear, the joys of life are multiplied, and the threats are lessened when they are shared. Going it alone is a recipe for impending disaster in the future.

Our faith works the same way. God calls us to pray, work, and share life together, and in this way to discover that He is with us in our midst. Although we might think that we can do it better by ourselves without the hassle of other’s differing opinions, different personalities, different priorities, different ways, we soon find out that we aren’t good company for ourselves. We need the differences to discover new possibilities for a better way or idea. We need the differences to help us see God on God’s terms and not our own. We need the differences to learn that what binds us is deeper than our individual traits, talents or interests. It is a communion of life rooted in the mystery of the holy. Our differences serve to show us the richness of God who uses them to domesticate our wild egos to accept His freely given love.

The lonesome cowboy is an icon of Americana, but it can deceive us into believing that that is a model for happiness. A different picture is drawn by our scriptures. “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” (1 Cor. 12:27)We rely upon each other to be whom we are called to be. In this way God tames us, not just to live a long life but an eternal one together with Him.

Baxter knows that he has a good thing going living with me. We need to learn how to have a better thing going living together and with God.

Give and Take

Baxter begs for food. When I am eating and he picks up an appetizing smell, he will sit at the foot of my chair with longing eyes. If I don’t respond and the aroma is just irresistible for him, he will place his front paws on my leg and reach for my arm, trying to pull it away with a morsel attached to the fork. If I get up from the table, Baxter will be on my chair in a mini-second, cautiously eying the food on the table and hoping I am gone long enough for him to make a move. That’s when he gets my stern, “Don’t!” and he usually backs off. Baxter will do whatever he needs to do to get a share from my meal.

However, the opposite is not the case. Baxter never shares his goodies with me. He never even offers a sample. Although I find his kibble unappetizing, I would think he would at least offer a bite to be polite. No, when his feeder moves for a meal, he is there dominating the dish, leaving no room for anyone else. Baxter knows how to get what he wants, but he isn’t great with giving what he has. Then, after all, he is a cat.

How are we as human beings? Do we think of sharing what we have, or do we only think of preserving it for ourselves or even better, getting more? We need to lookat our generosity quotient. Jesus says, “The measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.” If we always think we have less than the other guy or need more of what we do have, we will live like an animal. What marks our human nature is the ability to recognize the other as someone who has a claim on us because we share a common humanity. What marks our Christian character is the ability to recognize the other as made in God’s image and therefore, a brother or sister in the Lord.

We are made to share. We are baptized to share even more deeply. And if we think that we owe no one anything because we worked hard for all that we got, we better think again. No one is self-made. We have all relied upon others for opportunities, for help, for support and a second chance. That’s what makes us more than animals. And when it comes to our view of each other in faith, we are bondedin grace to need each other “to know, love and serve God in this life and to be happy with Him forever in the next.” No one can get to heaven alone. We come there through the prayers, ministries and witness of those who went before us and those who remain behind. There is a communion of saints. In communion is the only way we can be saints.

Baxter, it’s give and take, not just take what you can get. Well, o.k. You are a cat.

Kinder and Gentler

I was away for a week recently. When I got home, Baxter was so happy to see me he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. He followed me wherever I went, and he would either meow for attention or just lie down and stare. I think he missed me, and he wasn’t about to let me forget it. He craved my attention, and he wanted to be cuddled, scratched and petted to assure him I was close again.

When Baxter was younger and I would leave for a while, he had a different attitude about my return. At first, he would greet me and want to be close, but after those formalities, he would give me the cold shoulder for a few days, sitting with his back to me, staying out of reach for a pat or scratch, and even trying to bite me when I wasn’t looking. He was angry, and he wasn’t going to let me off the hook for abandoning him. He wouldn’t forget the loneliness of my absence.

What has caused the change in Baxter’s attitude and behavior? Age. As he has become a senior cat, Baxter has mellowed about the things that used to upset him. He more often goes along with my antics rather than resist them. He looks to what he has set before him now, rather than what he missed or lost. He is grateful for a good life.

We need to learn this feline wisdom for our own lives. As the years pass, we can get stuck by focusing on the wrong things. We think of our regrets and mishaps--what opportunities we missed, what we did wrong, how others mistreated us—and we get trapped in this negative spiral. We can so concentrate on what we have lost—health, a work position, loved ones—that we can’t see what we still have--the good we have done, others who have helped us and contributed to our success and well-being, faithful friends and family. We fail to see the blessings we have, and so we wallow in anger over what we lost or never had. How do we learn to be grateful for what remains and how it has increased in value over the years?

The Eucharist is about gratitude for the blessings we bear in life. We are encouraged by the Church to participate regularly. This isn’t just a rule to keep the collection basket full. It’s a habit that is meant to foster our mature gratitude over time and deepen it, finding its roots in the relationshipsthat shape our lives rather than the things we have earned and possess. Our relationship with God permeates all our other relationships, and it is the source for our gratitude. As it unfolds in the mystery of death and resurrection Jesus revealed to us, we recreate our personal stories to see in them the saving love of God at work for us. The negative experiences are mellowed by grace to teach us how to release our anger and grow our sense of goodness because God loves us always in every condition. These lessons come with age. May we embrace the wisdom that our lives hold. Like Baxter, may we all grow old gracefully.

-Monsignor Statnick

Bad Dog

One of the great things about dogs is that you can make them “feel” bad about wrong things they have done.

There is even a YouTube series of Denver the naughty lab who is always caught. Denver’s “dad” busts her, and Denver squints her eyes and dog smiles to show how sorry she is. It’s hilarious.

Charlie is no different. When he does something wrong, I just ask, “Did you do this?” He immediately reacts with his head down and a low wagging tail. He comes as close to me as possible and tries to put his head on my lap.

It’s so sweet, it’s almost impossible not to laugh. He wants to make things right as soon as possible, so that harmony can return to his simple doggy life.

Of course, pardoning him his easy, too. His sweet dog face and intense desire to be forgiven melt my heart and all is well in no time. I can’t stand to see my dog so sad to see me upset!

We don’t really have that reaction with one another, though, do we?

Without a doubt, forgiving a dog can be much easier than forgiving a person. I mean, whoever heard of a dog who had malicious intent and a manipulative mind? Even when a dog attacks it is either because it was poorly trained, or being threatened.

People, on the other hand think things through. People are intent on hurting us. People manipulate and abuse us so that they can get what they want no matter the cost. Right? Maybe not.

One of the ways confession is supposed to help us is to try and see things from the sinner’s perspective. The sinner being us, of course.

When you get right to it, you have to ask yourself, are people inherently bad or inherently good? From our Christian point of view, we say they are inherently good. How is that, you ask? It is because we are all created in the likeness and image of God. Every. One. Of. Us.

Certainly we all have original sin, and therefore a tendency to make poor choices for our own promotion, but at our core we still have the love of God within us.

What if when someone wronged us, we would think about this? How would the world be different if instead of counting our hurts, we counted our blessings? What if we would think of our own sins before we worried so much about the sins of others?

Perhaps, the world would look a little bit more like the Kingdom of God. And, after all, isn’t that what we are supposed to be striving for?

How could we learn to be more like Charlie and readily seek forgiveness?

It starts with realizing that God is not like people. Jesus came so that we might know the Father. Jesus is the face of the Father’s mercy.

Jesus seeks to heal us, to repair our broken relationships, and to bring peace to our lives. Jesus shows us what forgiveness is. Jesus shows us love.

Trying to live our lives according to God’s will can be hard, but it is also freeing. When we let go of the things that hold us back, we become happier and closer to God’s love.

Our Catholic living is supposed to help us with that. Going to Mass gives us food for the journey, and God’s word to help us on our way. Reconciliation is a time to realize that we have hurt others, and need forgiveness for that. The Sacramental life is supposed to open our lives to God’s grace and help us to do and be better.

I love my dog, but not as much as God loves us. I always forgive Charlie when he is bad, and God always forgives us. Jesus tells us that to show God we love him, we have to love one another. That takes a little forgiveness now and then.

Right, Charlie?

~ Christy Cabaniss

Under Foot

The last time I went for a medical check-up, the nurse asked me some new questions. They covered the “tripping hazard inventory” that is part of a “senior” medical review these days. They asked if I had area rugs in my home, if there were a bath tub or walk-in shower, and if I had a pet, specifically a cat or a dog. Of course, I said I had a cat. That was a negative point for my overall evaluation.

You see, having Baxter increases my odds of tripping over him. I can understand the reasoning here. Baxter does get under foot sometimes, especially if he wants to eat something I am preparing in the kitchen. He also has this habit of plopping in a prone position wherever he wants to land, and that is usually in the way--in the middle of a hallway, a room, a doorway or my lap. These behaviors make Baxter a tripping hazard for me. He lowered my home safety score. I wonder if he will be the reason for my early admission to a convalescent facility!

Well, I’ll chance it. Because what I may lose in physical safety from living with a pet, I gain ten-fold in soulful security with his companionship. Baxter fills an empty house when I come home at night. He sits and listens when I have had a hard day. He forces me to think of someone other than myself when he needs fed and watered, a clean bathroom and a few comforting strokes. His mysterious looks, strange sounds, and delights in sunshine and fresh air remind me to pay attention to what is going on in others’ lives around me and appreciate that we are on this life journey together. Baxter is my live-in angel.

Angels are divine messengers. They arise in the scriptures whenever God is about to do something important for people. Gabriel announces the conception of Jesus. Michael battles Satan and the forces of evil. Angels were at the tomb to tell Mary and the other women that He is Risen. And angels bid the disciples at the Lord’s ascension to trust that He will return. Angels mark the movements of God among human beings throughout the course of history. Sometimes they reveal dramatic actions changing the human condition completely. Sometimes the angels are hidden within the ordinary affairs of daily life, reminding us that God is with us and calling us to deeper faith and discipleship.

Whoever or whatever calls us out of our too comfortable, narcissistic and selfish worlds to be aware of, empathetic towards and of service to others in their need is an angel for us. Sometimes they may trip us to get our attention. But don’t be afraid, as we hear so often in this Easter season. When we are tripped by a true angel, we break only unnecessary parts, baggage that should be left behind. Then we can get up and be about the business of God’s work inour world. Jesus flunked the tripping test too on the way to Calvary, but He sure did show those who thought themselves hardy and healthy how to rise stronger and whole. When God is under foot, we all walk taller.

The Picture of Peace

When Baxter is intent upon sleeping soundly, he can get into it. He is lost to this world. He snores and makes strange sounds. He curls in a ball and covers his eyes. He doesn’t respond to his name or any familiar stimulus. He enters into another dimension, free from the mundane concerns of his regular life. I think he dreams in these deep sleeps. That’s the reason for all the uncharacteristic noise he makes. Nothing like a meow is heard at these times. The messages are delivered in another language, and he is lost in the conversation.

This kind of deep involvement in another dimension is what we are called to consider in our prayer. This is a time when we step out of the ordinary activities of our lives, and enter into a conversation with the Holy. This dialogue is unlike any other we may have. It is not about the “stuff” with which we may be dealing. It speaks in a wholly different way. It is an exchange of energy, a union of hearts, a sense of presence, a seeking to understand what is beyond our grasp. In our deepest prayer, we encounter God for Who God is - the Love that moves the stars and the other planets, the Love that died on the cross to save us. Prayer is an experience of our relationship with God when we realize how close God is to us and how wonderful is His Love for us.

Our deepest prayer doesn’t solve any problems for us. It doesn’t teach us any doctrines of our faith or new moral principles. Rather, it shows us who we are as a child of God and how much we matter to our heavenly Father who gave us life. It reveals that God is with us, Emmanuel, and that His unconditional Love never abandons us no matter how severe the suffering or how much rejection we may experience from others. Divorce, betrayal, abandonment or even the separation of death cannot exclude the Love of God from our lives. These experiences may mask His love in the pain of personal hurt and grief, but they cannot conquer this Love. His face remains turned to us, and when we open our pain to His healing power, we can see it again, perhaps even more clearly, for now we better understand the passage from death to new life He marked out for us.

So when we pray, don’t worry about what we are to say or wear. Relax in our Father’s arms. When we pray, enter deeply into the Holy Mystery that envelops our lives every second of the day. Allow God to speak His love for us, and let nothing else disturb us. The first words of the Risen Lord were so often these: “Peace be with you.” We can sleep well knowing we are known and loved by God.

On Alert

Baxter seems to be always on alert. Even when he is in his deepest sleep, if a strange noise or bright light arises, he is instantly awake, ears erect, eyes wide open, searching the surroundings for what is going on. Sometimes this alertness puts him on edge. He jumps at the slightest sound, or runs and hides at any unusual person or thing invading his familiar territory. He can be a “Nervous Nelly”, unable to relax and feel safe, always thinking that some impending doom looms nearby. There is a careful balance needed to be a watch cat. Too much anxiousness, and no one will pay attention to your warnings. Too little vigilance, and the place will be invaded while everyone sleeps through it.

The same holds true for recognizing the Spirit of the Risen Lord in our midst. We need to be alert to the signs of resurrection that come our way. Looking to the scriptures for direction, we see that these often happen while engaging in the tasks of our daily lives. Mary went to attend the grave and thought she met a gardener. When the Lord spoke to her by name, she recognized Him. Peter went fishing and was frustrated with his lack of success. When the stranger on the shore directed him to cast his net to the right side of the boat and the catch was overflowing, he knew it was the Lord. The group of disciples was huddled in a locked room to avoid being arrested after Jesus’ death. They recognized the Lord when He appeared and said “Peace be with you” and showed them His hands and His side.

Notice the hallmarks in all these scenes. The Lord incorporates Himself into whatever is happening in the first disciples’ lives. He speaks words of reassurance and directs their activity to be fruitful in witnessing to their faith. He gives them a mission, because once they have encountered the Risen Christ they cannot keep it to themselves. He teaches them what to look for as signs of His resurrected presence: a sense that God knows you personally like Mary in the garden; a direction that will feed everyone in body and spirit like Peter on the lake; a calming power that brings peace and offers forgiveness through us.

But sometimes we can be overly anxious about meeting the Lord. We so want to encounter His Risen presence and power that we force the issue. We look for the bazaar and strange to verify His new life. Visions, voices, paranormal phenomena set us on edge to know that the power of God is at work. Often we view such power as threatening, forcing us in line with Church teachings,getting back at God’s enemies. Such is not the picture the scriptures draw for us of the Risen Lord’s Spirit.

This new life is strong, subtle and resilient. It is woven into the issues we face each day, offering a higher viewpoint and a different way. When others may think the situation hopeless, it opens a door to another possibility. When our fears may get out of hand, it brings peace and calming assurance to think clearly and act reasonably. When some people may want to force their ways on others, it invites, encourages and entices all of us to come and see without undue pressure or manipulation. The Spirit of the Risen Lord is not of this world, but works in this world to transform it into God’s Kingdom.

So stay alert, but be at peace. “The strife is o’er, the battle done.” Christ is Risen, never to die again, and we share in His victory.