Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Wanting the Wrong Things

Whatever I am eating, Baxter wants some of it. His craving persists despite strict orders from the vet not to feed him from the table. He even wants things that are dangerous for his health, like chocolate. If it appears as food, Baxter’s appetite is stirred, and he won’t give up on his desire until I have eaten it all and placed the plate in the sink. Later, when I sit for another meal, he’s back again pawing at my arm, mournfully meowing, and plucking at my heart-strings with his soulful eyes. Nothing deters Baxter from wanting anything that smells like food to him. He is driven by his nose to fill his stomach, even if he just had his portion of kibble.

We can get caught in the same kind of fixations. Sometimes they are physical addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex or gambling. We can’t resist the need to engage in certain behaviors that bring us immediate pleasures and calm our cravings for a while. Sometimes our desires are more subtle, and therefore unnoticed. We can’t resist telling someone a tidbit we found out about another person. We can’t stop ourselves from finding fault in something when others are complimenting it. We can’t overlook someone’s annoying habit or mistake, but have to point it out for everyone to acknowledge. We get into a negative frame of mind to highlight what is wrong with another’s behavior or the situation other’s created. We want things to be perfect, and we won’t settle for anything less. We are driven, and we don’t realize it!

A lesson from Baxter may help in this case. What turns off Baxter’s food radar is a distraction. If he sees a bird fly pass the window, if he hears a loud noise, if he goes to the litter box, he forgets about his craving for a while. If we get involved in helping others, in donating our time and talent to a good cause, in advocating for the less fortunate, we loosen the grip that our self centered desires have on us. We begin to think about what the other person needs, rather than what we want or what we think they need. We change the focus to see situations more clearly and completely. We add other points of view to our viewpoint which broadens it and allows for more empathy and understanding. Our conclusions are softer, leaving room to modify them or even reverse them. Instead of measuring others by what we want them to do and be, we measure ourselves by how well we help them be better persons. Now our drive is going somewhere, rather than running in circles for our own self gratification.

Jesus was driven by His mission to fulfill the Kingdom of God. His drive led to the cross and from the cross to the resurrection and the release of the Spirit. It didn’t lock Him into Himself, but freed Him to reach out to the least around Him, and eventually, through His followers, to the least everywhere. This is how a disciple lives and channels his or her desires by the grace of Christian conversion. We learn to want the right things for others and forget about ourselves. Funny though, in the end we get more than we ever imagined possible to feed our spirits and become well fed disciples.