Sometimes we roughhouse with each other as well. We use words to spar with one another. When it begins in jest, we usually know when to stop before our remarks get too cutting. We realize what we said and know how to put limits on its impact. However, when we get sharp with others because we are under pressure and irritated by the situation at hand, we begin to lose sight of the effects of our words. We can fail to see how others are responding to what we say, and we get on a roll that begins to run away with our biting comments. Now we can be in trouble. What we dismiss as meaningless remarks when we are calmer now wound those in earshot whohear the nastiness of our anger and frustration.
They back off, retreat from interacting with us, and draw conclusions about our character because they are hurt and afraid of getting hurt further. The situation becomes awkward, and everyone walks on egg shells trying to bring peace again.
Jesus in the Gospels is very conscious of the power of His words. He speaks pointedly and directly to others. His audiences may try to twist His remarks to their liking to trap Him or get Him on their side, but Jesus is always trying to clarify His intentions and meaning. He doesn’t back off from challenging others with the demands of God’s Kingdom, but He doesn’t do so to hurt them out of His own frustration. He wants them to reconsider their thoughts, actions and attitudes against the backdrop of God’s towards them. We are God’s children and should reflect our heavenly Father. Jesus’ words direct us to look at ourselves in this light and draw our conclusions based upon what our faith shows us, not what we want to see. Grace tames our anger and frustration to become an energy for good, rather than a force that unintentionally hurts others.
Still we are going to fail from time to time. A slip of the tongue, a quick barb, a habitual slogan may be heard before we realize we said it. That’s why the Gospel tells us to ask for forgiveness in the Lord’s prayer, and why we must forgive seventy times seven times. That is how we correct our grammar to follow the rules of God’s language. An apology can turn a biting comment into a sincere compliment, because with such words, we place ourselves at another’s service again. It can wash any wounds our words may create and keep them from becoming serious infections in our relationships.
When Baxter and I spar,it is fun. Our rough housing is a game that does no one any permanent harm. Be sure that the same dynamics come to play when we verbally spar with each other. God must have the last word.
-Monsignor Statnick
