I talk to Baxter. Yes, I admit it. He and I have conversations over various things. Sometimes, they are trivial - the weather, sports, the day’s schedule. Sometimes, Baxter hears about my frustrations. Sometimes, he listens to my opinions on politics, the economy, the Church, or local issues. He usually doesn’t say much in these exchanges. If I have been away for a while, he may offer a friendly chirp to welcome me home, but usually he is silent. So why do I talk to Baxter? With so little to say, what does he have to offer to a conversation?
A true conversation is more than a bunch of words being exchanged between two or more parties. It is a matter of fruitful dialogue. It is a meeting of minds and hearts over a common concern where the exchange contributes to the common understanding and commitment behind the talk. Conversation isn’t just about finding answers to questions we have. It is about creating a bond between the partners in the dialogue, so that they grow closer to each other in the process. This bond creates a freedom to explore any topic, even sensitive ones which demand mutual respect and confidence from each other.
Talk is the cheap part of a conversation.True sharing of ourselves is the valuable ingredient.
Baxter doesn’t talk much, but he adds a more important piece to our conversations. He listens. Listening is a key to our conversations bearing the fruit of genuine dialogue. If we don’t listen to each other, we talk pass each other. We may exchange a lot of words, but they are empty sounds. They get in the way of meeting the person speaking them because we aren’t listening to what that person is expressing when he or she speaks. People tell us what they care about, what they cherish and want to protect, what ideas mean to them and how they serve their deepest values and commitments. But we have to listen for these things. Too often we get lost in making our point in a conversation or winning the argument, and we miss the deeper message the other person is sending in all the talk. “I am here. Take me into your world with respect and regard for who I am and what I stand for.” Listening acknowledges and incorporates this part into any conversation.
God listens. That is why we should never be afraid to speak honestly and sincerely to Him in prayer. In fact, God is much more concerned about the deeper message hidden in all our talk, than about most of our blabber about one thing or another. He reads our minds and hearts, and He wants to fill them with His grace. He uses His respect and esteem for His children to win us over. Just because we don’t hear anything in prayer, doesn’t mean God is absent. He is listening to help us hear ourselves and do what is necessary to follow faithfully.
Yes, I do talk to Baxter. He talks back less often, but he pays attention nonetheless. God works that way too. Maybe if we learn to listen more and talk less, we will have better prayer and better conversations with each other as its fruit.
