Baxter wasn't hard to train. He came ready to use the litter box - no learning curve there. He quickly gave up jumping on counters or tables - a few loud and harsh voice commands did the trick there. He grew into getting brushed each night. At first he resisted, but eventually he looked for it. Now he comes when I call him for his nightly primping. When it came to the furniture, we negotiated that one. At first, I wanted to say no contact with any chairs or couches. Baxter had to stay on his own bed and pillows - but that was a losing battle. We compromised by his using those pieces of furniture that I made Baxter-proof with covers. Consequently, there are many covered chairs - and a covered bed - in my quarters. Baxter got the better part of that deal.
In fact, Baxter got his way on a number of things. Where and when he ate were a lot of his doing, but I portioned the servings over his protests that they were too small. Window access was Baxter’s call. He loved to look outside, and if he could get to any ledge, I allowed him to take in any view that he fancied. I also gave in on Baxter’s drinking habits. He preferred flowing water from a spigot, and he has chosen different spigots in the various places we have lived - laundry room, bathroom sink, bathroom tub, lawn hose. Why one and not another in certain places - I haven’t asked him. I am sure he has his reasons though.
You see what has happened between us. We have trained each other. He knows my limits, my non-negotiables, and I know his likes and dislikes and try to accommodate them. It’s a give and take, and in the course of our years together, we have trained each other to become a family of sorts. We have learned to share our space, our habits, our idiosyncrasies, our delights and our displeasures. We have learned to put up with each other, but also to enjoy each other, to work together to make wherever we are living a home by marking it with our unique relationship. In this way, we have shaped each other in a habit of living that has made life better for both of us.
That’s the way God works with us. God sets the standards for living together, but there’s lots of room for us to add our personal touch. We are asked to live a life of discipleship that follows certain divine principles, but we give it our own personality, our own strengths and weaknesses, and our own set of gifts and talents. All these make our discipleship unique, even while it is held in common with fellow disciples in the Church. God controls the big picture of authentic human happiness, but He allows us to color in the details. He respects our taste, our freedom to choose from many goods in life, our understanding of the various dimensions of life’s truths, our desire to do the right thing in difficult circumstances. He accepts our limitations and works within them.
Nevertheless, God always calls us beyond the limits we have set for ourselves. His love encourages us to work through our struggles and dilemmas, to use our minds to figure out the right course in a reasonable and loving way. He calls His followers to support and help each other through life’s difficulties. God takes on the character of our lives, so that we can better them, reshape them into the image of God’s life for which they were intended. When we live with God, there’s a give and take. God concedes to take on our ways so that we can finally live with Him and each other in His ways. This wonderful exchange is the mystery of our salvation in Christ.
