FRIGHTENED

Loud noises, sudden movements, flashes of light, all these scare Baxter. When he gets frightened he usually runs to what he thinks is a safe place. Under the bed is his favorite spot, but if that’s not available, he may run into a closet, under a chair or into a guest room. When he is frightened, he hides. He gets out of sight and keeps silent until he thinks the threat has passed. He tries to  disappear thinking that he is safe if no one knows he is around. Somehow, Baxter has concluded that the sights and sounds that frighten him have targeted him. They are out to get him personally, and his only recourse is to run away and hide.

We get frightened as well. In today’s world, reasons to fear seem to fill the news. Shootings in our neighborhoods; Ebola in our hospitals; violence in schools, movie theaters, and malls; tornadoes, floods, hurricanes and earthquakes; the list goes on and on. They are all threats to our safety and well being, and like Baxter, we want to run and hide from them. We want to find a place where we can’t be touched by these menaces, where we can feel secure and where we can count on people to protect us rather than attack us. We become suspicious of strangers and become reluctant to travel to a strange place or engage in new activities. We wonder whom can we trust and what are the signs of sinister forces around us.

Fear can paralyze us. It keeps us from engaging with each other in open conversations, in playful humor, or in trying new ventures. We revert to the tried and true from the past, and avoid risking our comfort and security in anything new - new people, new ideas, new places, new activities. We play it safe like Baxter by finding a dark, warm, concealed spot to hide, not under the bed, but in our own mind, in our circle of friends, in our habits and routines. Fear shrinks our lives.

In the Gospel, when Jairus approaches Jesus to heal his daughter and while on the way there, some people announce that his daughter has died, Jesus says to Jairus, “Do not fear, only believe.” He says the same to us today. Believe that God is with us despite the terrible things that happen in our world. Believe that the power of goodness which comes from God is greater than any destructive forces we may face. Believe that we can harness this goodness if we come out of our hiding and join together as a community bound in grace to work for God’s Kingdom on earth.

That means we can’t give up. We must tame our imaginations to deal with the threats we face and not allow them to determine our outlook and actions. We need to think about what is possible and work to make it a reality. Not every attempt will give us what we are looking for, but every step will teach us how to live in faith by stepping out of our fear to help others. That is what Jesus did. He refused to listen to the cynics and naysayers, and kept on His course to bring healing and new life. Because of His faith in His Father, Jairus’ daughter lived again and others came to believe.

Faith blots out fear. Instead of hiding, we come forward in the light of Christ to witness to others that God is alive, well and active in our world. We need to show people how this is the case, and keep at it until healing, hope and new beginnings become common place among us. In the trembling, shivering, nervous world we are in today, what a difference this kind of witness would make. The courage of the saint is contagious. Look at Mother Theresa, John Paul II, John XXIII, Martin Luther King, Elizabeth Seton, or Isaac Jogues. Their lives inspired others to move ahead.

So, Baxter, come out from under the bed. What you think may harm you won’t. God is with us. Get going to follow His lead.

Understanding Splashing

When Baxter drinks from his water dish he makes a mess. He doesn't politely lap up a portion until he is satisfied. He first has to paw the water to make it move. Of course, this action splashes it all over the floor, leaving puddles to mop. For the longest time, I thought Baxter did this to be ornery. It was his way to get back at me for having him neutered or limiting his food intake. However, just recently, I read that cats do this for another reason.

They are farsighted, and consequently, they cannot see where the surface of the standing water in a bowl begins. They don’t like to get their noses wet by misjudging the water level, so to avoid this discomfort, they paw at it. Cats can better see the moving surface, and so have a wet tongue but a dry nose. I gained a new respect for Baxter’s intelligence and a better understanding of his ways by this simple bit of information. I also solved the problem of the wet floor. I just place a pie plate under Baxter’s bowl to catch the splash, and the wave action is contained. Because we understand each other better, we can live together with less aggravation and harsh judgments levied against each other.

The same holds true for human beings. We sometimes come to conclusions about each other without really knowing what is going on. We assume the worst and act accordingly. We think people won’t, when maybe they can’t or were never asked. We impute motives on others’ actions which may have nothing to do with the real reasons. We can lay on others our way of thinking when actually they see things totally differently and act with that interest in mind. Actions can hold different meanings from different viewpoints and backgrounds. And we may feed misconceptions about each other. One person tells another, “Look at him or her, doing thus and so, for such and such a reason.” We help each other be misinformed so that we can misjudge each other and dismiss those who aren't like us for our own reasons.

What if God acted that way? We would all be out in the cold, relying upon our “friends” to watch our backs, but worried that they might abandon us when the popular word about us changes its stripes. Our lives would be splashing back and forth led by the most recent rumor someone concocted about us. We would soon feel lost and wonder if there is any recourse to the truth about ourselves.

But God is faithful and true. While others may jump to conclusions, God knows our hearts, minds and spirits. He knows that our motives are usually mixed for what we do, but He takes the best in the mix and builds upon it. He encourages us to do good for others and ourselves. He gives us the benefit of the doubt when the path we have taken is unsure. He sends others who have our best interest in mind to offer advice and guide us. We see all of this in the way Jesus treated others.

He wants to know a person’s story from his or her perspective. He looks to help others drink of God’s goodness rather than punish them for spilling some water. He tells them to go forward with their lives, learning from their mistakes, accepting forgiveness and offering others what he gave them. Jesus is short on judgment and long on understanding another person’s viewpoint.

So go ahead, Baxter, splash all you like. It won’t harm anything, and it will keep your nose dry. Good advice for all of us.

Facing Our Vulnerabilities

About a week ago, Baxter got sick. I came home and discovered that he hadn’t eaten his dinner. None of it. He was lying on my bed, half asleep. I asked him if he were sick, and after a few words of cat speak, I concluded he was. When I petted him I got very little of the purring engine I usually hear. Instead, he sort of softly squealed and closed his eyes, wanting to resume his sleep. After a while, he awoke and ate a little, but it wasn’t five minutes before he brought it up. A little later he had another bout of vomiting minus any food. I was getting worried. Was this something serious?

I know animals can turn seriously ill on a dime, and Baxter has a good number of years under his belt, which makes him even more vulnerable. I decided to keep him from eating anything for a time to see how he would be. I learned from the vet that sometimes cats’ stomachs need to quiet down before they can start up again. Then I had to bring back the food slowly and see if the episode would pass. It did. In twenty-four hours, Baxter was his old self again. I was relieved.

It is scary when we think about how vulnerable we are in today’s world. One microscopic “bug” can travel throughout the whole world in this jet age, spreading illness and disease among many populations before anyone notices. We travel long distances in close quarters. We are so used to managing our health that we panic when we think it is unmanageable. We deceive ourselves into believing that epidemics are episodes from the past, until we realize that they are just bigger and more bizarre than in former times. We control bubonic plague, leprosy, tuberculosis and polio, but then Ebola arises with a deadly force. Our jet set life style carries with it a free ride for contagion which can spread within 72 hours nearly everywhere on this earth. What can we do to escape this threat? How do we feel safe again?

We can face our vulnerabilities and accept what they say about us humans. We so often avoid our weakness and fragility that we begin to think they aren’t part of us. We are tough gogetters able to take on any challenge. We hate to admit our limitations and accept our frailty. We would rather hide these in our resolve to do it ourselves rather than ask for help, in our working alone rather than with others, in our stubborn independence which puts ourselves and others in greater jeopardy to harm. But these are simply delaying
tactics. Finally, we will all have to face our strength slipping away, our minds clouding over, and our need for others to take care of us. How do we handle the inevitable decline? Cats’ instincts take over, and they give into their weakness quickly. We are different. We accept our human condition gradually and often reluctantly. We may fight it at first, but our faith offers guidance here.

The cross of Christ can help us face our vulnerabilities and their consequences. As Jesus embraced His frailty in the face of the destructive powers of sin and death, He was broken, weakened and finally taken by others to a place to die. But He was not defeated. He continued to reach out to others—the women, His Mother, the Beloved Disciple, the good thief. He addressed His situation with respect for Himself and others—“It is finished.” “Father, forgive them.” He passed on His life—He gave up His Spirit; “Truly, this was the Son of God.”. When He is most vulnerable, weak and stricken, Jesus teaches us the most about the human condition we share before God. He teaches us how to face it, embrace it and love it by finally handing it over to our loving Father and trusting that He, not us, will save it.

We resist losing what we love and cherish whether it is our loved ones, the dignity of our work, the identity we have forged through loving relationships, or even a beloved pet. But fighting to hold onto these and other parts of our passing life when they are ending prevents us from appreciating the gift they are to us and releasing them with a grateful heart. In the end, all the good of our lives is held in God. Pray to be able to hand our lives over to Him as Jesus did to the Father, and see our vulnerabilities as the last call from God to live by faith.

OLD CAT, NEW TRICKS

Baxter and I have known each other for many years. I got him as a four month old kitten, and we have been together ever since. After all those years, we begin to assume things about each other. We know our daily routines, our personal quirks, and our signals for feeling happy, down or upset. Good friends and family rub off on each other, and many aspects of how we live together become second nature in the relationships.

While this familiarity is a good thing to make people feel comfortable and close to each other, it does have a down side. The other day, Baxter surprised me. When I was home for lunch, he jumped on my chair at the table as soon as I got up to clear the dishes. When I returned for a final morsel, he wasn’t about to move off of my chair. So I got another one for myself and moved the one he confiscated next to me. I think he was playing this game in hopes of getting something to eat off my plate. Since he was persistent about sitting next to me and since I was persistent about not feeding him any of my food, we were at a stalemate. Weakening, I decided to place one piece of kibble on the edge of the table for him. To my surprise, he didn’t gobble it up then and there.

Instead, Baxter took it in his paw and placed the morsel in his mouth, like a child placing a piece of candy in its mouth with its tiny hand. I thought I knew everything about this cat’s ways, but he surprised me with this new antic.

Sometimes we do this to each other, and God does this to us. We think we know everything about another person, their habits, their likes and dislikes, their manner and style, and then they surprise us. They do or say something we never expected. They disclose a side of themselves we have never seen. They have a trick up their sleeve we never saw coming. These surprises may startle us at first, but on second thought, they will hopefully excite and encourage us. There is always something new to learn about another person. There is more to this familiar face than I first thought. Surprises keep our relationships interesting and lively. If we pigeonhole others and keep them confined to our comfortable routines, we will never grow in our relationship with them. Each encounter is the same—the same topics, the same interactions, the same routines. Our life together becomes gray with nothing standing out to look forward to, to cherish in our memories, to hope for again.

Our God is a God of surprises to challenge and enrich our lives. Moses and the prophets didn’t expect to do and say what they did. But they responded to God’s unexpected call in their lives and were instruments of His salvation. No one expected the Messiah they got in Jesus, but His death and resurrection proved to be the salvation of the world. We don’t know what lies in store for us from God or from His messengers in our lives. We discover unknown talents and abilities when new opportunities arise for us to respond. They surprise us, but they also broaden and deepen how God is working with us through our lives.

Picking up a piece of kibble in his paw made me look at Baxter in a whole new light. There is more to the guy than a lazy, old cat. He is more ingenious and spunky than I thought. God sees this side in us as well. Let Him surprise you, and you may discover good and exciting things about yourself and others you never knew were there.

Talking to Baxter

I talk to Baxter. Yes, I admit it. He and I have conversations over various things. Sometimes, they are trivial - the weather, sports, the day’s schedule. Sometimes, Baxter hears about my frustrations. Sometimes, he listens to my opinions on politics, the economy, the Church, or local issues. He usually doesn’t say much in these exchanges. If I have been away for a while, he may offer a friendly chirp to welcome me home, but usually he is silent. So why do I talk to Baxter? With so little to say, what does he have to offer to a conversation?

A true conversation is more than a bunch of words being exchanged between two or more parties. It is a matter of fruitful dialogue. It is a meeting of minds and hearts over a common concern where the exchange contributes to the common understanding and commitment behind the talk. Conversation isn’t just about finding answers to questions we have. It is about creating a bond between the partners in the dialogue, so that they grow closer to each other in the process. This bond creates a freedom to explore any topic, even sensitive ones which demand mutual respect and confidence from each other.

Talk is the cheap part of a conversation.True sharing of ourselves is the valuable ingredient.

Baxter doesn’t talk much, but he adds a more important piece to our conversations. He listens. Listening is a key to our conversations bearing the fruit of genuine dialogue. If we don’t listen to each other, we talk pass each other. We may exchange a lot of words, but they are empty sounds. They get in the way of meeting the person speaking them because we aren’t listening to what that person is expressing when he or she speaks. People tell us what they care about, what they cherish and want to protect, what ideas mean to them and how they serve their deepest values and commitments. But we have to listen for these things. Too often we get lost in making our point in a conversation or winning the argument, and we miss the deeper message the other person is sending in all the talk. “I am here. Take me into your world with respect and regard for who I am and what I stand for.” Listening acknowledges and incorporates this part into any conversation.

God listens. That is why we should never be afraid to speak honestly and sincerely to Him in prayer. In fact, God is much more concerned about the deeper message hidden in all our talk, than about most of our blabber about one thing or another. He reads our minds and hearts, and He wants to fill them with His grace. He uses His respect and esteem for His children to win us over. Just because we don’t hear anything in prayer, doesn’t mean God is absent. He is listening to help us hear ourselves and do what is necessary to follow faithfully.

Yes, I do talk to Baxter. He talks back less often, but he pays attention nonetheless. God works that way too. Maybe if we learn to listen more and talk less, we will have better prayer and better conversations with each other as its fruit.

Taking A Break

Baxter is back! He enjoyed the summer. He worked on his tan, took a few extra naps, explored the scenery in the area, and generally broke away from the usual work day routine to relax and relish life. It doesn’t take much for him to rejuvenate himself. Cats have simple needs, and a little break from the pressure of daily feedings, litter box use and choosing a place to nap does a world of good. Baxter comes back to his duties now refreshed and ready for another year of antics and foibles that teach us about living better with God.

Do we take breaks, time away from our schedule? Not the big interruptions we may plan like an annual vacation, but the chance each day to stop, smell the roses, and think about what is happening in our lives. In the spiritual tradition of our faith, these breaks were known as the particular examen. They were brief times of prayer and reflection, time-outs in the midst of other activities. They happen in place. A person doesn’t run to the church for these moments. Rather wherever we might be is the place we use to stop, reflect and pray.

What do we do with these breaks? Our tradition offers some help. First, recall that God is with you in this moment and He is always with you throughout the day. With the pressures of our daily activities, we can lose sight of God in our midst. He’s there, but we can’t see, hear or sense His presence  because we are lost in our own world. Taking a break cracks open the moment to God’s presence.

Next, review how you are doing. Where did you blow it today? Did you lose your temper, get  distracted from the person talking to you, or add an attitude of despair, cynicism or unfair criticism to the situation? It’s o.k. Just ask for help and forgiveness. Where did you nail it so far? You offered to help another when you weren’t obliged; you listened first and spoke later; you refused to cheat, lie, gossip, or steal when seeing others do it. Give thanks and be grateful that you are an instrument of God’s grace in this world.

Lastly, ask to stay focused on God as the horizon in which you see everything and everyone you encounter, and on yourself as a witness to God for others. As Saint John writes, “God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.” And further in 1John we read: “God is love, those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” Invite God to be busy with you. Think of yourself as God’s hands and eyes and ears and tongue to work and understand and listen and speak in ways which make God’s light and love present to yourself and others.

Baxter’s long summer break is over. All vacations hopefully fade into pleasant memories, but we don’t have to lose the values they bring to our living. Take a break with God a few times during the course of your day. Take it in place. Find the God who is walking with you each day in these moments, and let Him guide you for the rest of the day. You will come back to your normal routine differently each time.

Bad Dog!

Overall, Charlie is a very good dog. He doesn’t mess in the house, he doesn’t bite, and he doesn’t USUALLY bark excessively. 

Charlie’s biggest mistakes are being insistent on going out when he has already been and sneaking food from low tables whenever possible. To solve most of his disciplinary issues, we utilize a squirt bottle. His face gets sprayed with water whenever an infraction occurs. This is a highly effective deterrent, and merely showing the squirt bottle ends most naughty behavior.

On occasion, though, I have been known to yell at Charlie when he is being bad. “Charlie! Bad dog!” Those simple words in an angry voice cause him to stop, put his ears down, and come cowering to my side. He absolutely does not like yelling and he definitely doesn’t like me to be upset with him.

Charlie never questions my upsets. He doesn’t avoid the confrontation. Instead, he immediately takes responsibility for causing a disturbance. He wants things to be set right again as soon as possible. He is so sweet and cuddly, and clearly so apologetic, I can’t help but forgive him immediately!

We aren’t like that with one another, though, are we? If someone says that we have upset them, we don’t claim responsibility. Either that person was mistaken, we were misunderstood, or perhaps our  intentions were taken out of context. We don’t do things wrong, and we definitely don’t hurt people. Apologies don’t come quickly in our society.

The opposite is true, too. Whenever someone wrongs US, we can’t let that go. Even if an apology does come, it probably wasn’t meant or it came with an ulterior motive.

No. Apologies aren’t given and they aren’t accepted. Forgiveness is not something we do very well.

No wonder we have such a hard time with God. We can’t forgive or apologize to one another. How can we imagine a God who not only accepts our apologies, but one who SEEKS to forgive us? But, that is exactly the kind of God Jesus shows to us. Just think of the many parables of finding something lost. The lost coin, the lost sheep, and especially the lost son.

God loves us so much. When we have failed, all we have to do is ask for forgiveness, and it is granted. No intention or explanation is necessary. Jesus tells us, too, that we need to learn to love  each other as God loves us. That means forgiving one another.

We’re people, not dogs. Forgiveness is a bit harder than petting a sad pup. But, we have a  greater capacity to love than Charlie does.

Let’s love each other and forgive and ask for forgiveness. Then we can all be good! Right, Charlie?

Christy Cabaniss - Parish Minister